When we learned that we were soon going to be parents we began to revaluate some areas of our lives. This has been for the good and has led to multiple life changes. But when we learned on Friday that we would be having a daughter (Evelyn Grace; you can see the ultrasound video here), I began to think of other things. It seems that many people are concerned that if we protect our children from the world they will grow up to be socially inept, or that this protection will only encourage rebellion in later years of life (an objection I just don’t see in Scripture, c.f. Proverbs 22:6). And so many parents give their children a liberal dose of “the world” to make them well-rounded.
Though this post could relate to many things, music, mass media, public schools, etc, I pose the question for a specific purpose. It seems many people blindly accept the messages of Disney without really contemplating the meaning of the messages. It has led me to think, that many of the “beloved classics” are actually a bad influence on raising a child in the covenant—and this entails more than just some of the magic that is involved; that, I must admit, is one of the least of my concerns. Clearly Disney has produced a plethora of movies, and not all of them necessarily carry bad messages, but as we have considered them more and more, we have become more and more convinced that Evelyn will not be watching these beloved classics—at least not until she is old enough to understand her place as a true covenant child and distinguish between fantasy and reality.
For instance, consider The Little Mermaid. I haven’t seen the movie but I do know something about it. Ariel, in one of the scenes sings a song called, “Part of Your World.” In this song she is singing about the gadgets and gizmos that she owns. But the whole song seems to be one of dissatisfaction, and greed, “You want thingamabobs? I've got twenty! But who cares? No big deal, I want more.” Then she goes on to sing about the things she wants. Call me crazy, but this is strikingly pathetic, and greedy. It is the idea that one never has enough, and the only way to be happy is to get more, more, more. In the words of John Piper, “Stuff, stuff, stuff…It’s killing us.” This world is built on the need and desire for stuff, and her song seems to encapsulate this idea. Why would I ever find it cute to have Evelyn dancing around singing this song? It’s appalling!
Another common theme that seems prevalent in the Disney movies I have seen is disobedience, often against parental control. Just think, Ariel disobeys her father and goes to explore the world, Simba goes into the uncharted territories (after singing an incredibly individualistic song called “I Just Can’t Wait to be King”), Jazmine leaves the palace grounds to go seek adventure outside. Mulan pretends to be a guy in order to enlist in the army, breaking the civil laws of the land (something Robin Hood is notorious for too). Most of the time this breaking of authority, while being implied as “bad” is pictured and imagined in such a way as adventuresome. But it’s a direct violation of the fifth commandment! Children were killed in the Old Testament days for disobeying their parents (thank goodness for grace!). In the Law of God, disobeying parents is mentioned right alongside not committing murder, or adultery, etc. Is this something that I want Evelyn exposed to at such a young age?
The worst part of all this is that I am being dead serious. Need we mention that Beauty and the Beast seems to propagate free love? Who cares if a human loves some big gross beast, we ought to love whomever we want (this is of course founded on Disney’s backing of homosexual relationships). And Lady in the Tramp shows the fun and romance of having a “good girl” fall for a “bad boy.” Cinderella, though not horrible, seems to instill in many girl’s minds that they are Cinderella and should wait for Prince Charming (seems rather worldly), and how many girls never outgrow that childhood fantasy? In Pinocchio we here the ever annoying song, “Let your conscience be your guide”…umm “The heart above all things is deceitful.” This isn’t all one giant conspiracy theory on my part nor is it an ignoring of the Christian liberty we have in Christ. I don’t think these movies are intrinsically evil, that’s counter Scripture (c.f. Mark 7:14-23). And I don’t think all Disney movies have bad messages (I mean seriously, The Fox and the Hound is a classic!) and that if you watch them you will grow up to be a horrible person. But I certainly don’t think they do much to help instill in your children a love for the gospel and rejection of the world. We are charged, in our child's baptism, to "strive, by all
So I’m asking for thoughts (especially from parents!). Is there redemptive quality to Disney movies? Is all of this one giant conspiracy theory? How do you, as parents, protect your children from the world that they might be “infants to evil” (1 Corinthians 14:20)? Am I raping my child of their "deserved" childhood?
26 comments:
Becoming a parent definitely makes you think about how you want to raise your child. And it is good to think about it before baby arrives (I think it is a good thing God gives us 9 mo.!), because afterwards you are more in a survival mode, and it is so easy to just do things the easy way. But if you have it in your head what you want/don't want, that makes it that much easier. Am I making sense? And of course as parents you do sometimes end up doing things you didn't think you would, but I still think it is good to think about and talk about how to raise your child. I don't have any specific thoughts on Disney; I will have to think more about that, but I know Abby won't be watching movies like that until she is much older. We also try to be very intentional about our parenting, and do what we think is best to raise Abby to be God-glorifying. One thing that we do, for example, or rather don't do, is get Abby all the Baby Einstein videos. We believe that at this age she is much better off doing interactive things with her parents, or learning to play by herself, rather than being mesmerized by the screen. And of course you know that we make other concious choices for her, like using cloth diapers and trying to do things "naturally" when possible. So like I said, while I don't have a specific comment on the Disney issue, I think it is great that you are considering this now! Being a parent changes your life in so many ways.
Not a parent--but, I agree with Rachel. I have seen a lot of parents use movies almost as drugs, and see no reason for children to be constantly watching movies from a young age. My first conscious memory of watching a movie is from when I was 8--I went to see Little Mermaid for my birthday. The film, in my mind, plays out like a classic fairy tale (except she doesn't get eaten as in the original Hans Christian Anderson tale--but I digress); she rebels; she becomes part of the world, but at the price of sacrificing her voice; she is imprisoned, impersonated, and is ultimately punished; it is only after she apologizes to her father and the apology is accepted that there is a happy ending.
There is no reason for her to be watching movies until the age she can understand them and separate them from reality--but a child's perception and yours may differ greatly. A movie like this can be a good lead in to some serious discussion--when she is older.
do you then leave out the classic literature that all of these stories are based on? it is true, disney/abc are really only looking out for number one [in this case, number one=themselves]so they create gimicky and catchy tunes that people sing around the house [i'm sure i've seen you singing them a time or two without prompting rachel] and the song instill brand recognition to perpetuate their empire.
i agree that there are parents use films as pacifiers and babysitters for young children [i hear that it can be stressful to be a parent at times] but i think that when you aren't sitting down with your children to discuss the good and evil in a film is when a disney movie could potentially become a device for evil.
i agree with the other rachel in the fact that children don't understand when they ar younger. i think that i've mentioned it a few times...i didn't watch tv or film until i was in middle school. my parents had a similar but different thought on children's films--where i think that you should sit down and discuss, MY parents were of the school of parenting that let the children decide what they thought on their own and if they had questions eventually they would come and ask. i never asked, instead i became disinterested. i saw gimick and cheesiness very early on and just stayed away naturally.
another point that i agree with rachel on is self play. i grew up going to montessori school which is mostly self taught/directed education. i think that if you start with baby einstein and other learning film young you have a greater chance of the child appreciating/enjoying education and NOT rebelling against it later.
am i parent? no. do i want to be? sure. nate and i have been having these parenting conversations for some time and these are a few of the thoughts we've come up with. hope it helps!
PS: have i mentioned how happy and excited i am for you both :) good luck in your decision making
Good thoughts everyone!
~ Rachel Borg :)
By wife is quite obviously very pleonastic in her responses.
@ Rachel, thank you for your thoughts! There is so MUCH to think about before Evelyn arrives (it's a good thing that Christ alone makes us sufficient for all things, or I would be a lost cause).
@ Amy, "but a child's perception and yours may differ greatly" That's my concern as a parent. I realize I can get away listening to music that I may not be able to justify to a five year old. But as a parent there is so much responsibility being placed on us to raise our children right. I mean, shame on us if on our account our child grows up outside of the covenant family. Because of the potential that my child may understand things differently than I, I don't want to expose her to those things.
@ Sara,
Thanks for weighing in! It seems as if Rachel K get the "I agree with you" award.
As to books being banned, no I don't think they should be banned. I don't think Disney movies should be absolutely banned. The movies (or books) are not intrinsically evil, I don't even know what that would mean. But it does mean protecting our children from dangerous things, and exposing them to age appropriate things. I tend to think that when we have a daughter I don't think it will be appropriate for her to watch some Disney movies until she is quite old. I want to teach her first to love God and find all her sufficiency in Christ, I want her to understand her place in the covenant, to hate the world and when we sense the Spirit working these things in her, then it's time to introduce the "forbidden" things (i.e. Disney movies and gory fairy tales).
We appreciate all the thoughts that have been shared on here!
Grace.
I do have to add that Lion King is one movie that I don't...and won't...ever own. I think that from that point on some of the Disney movies took on New Ageish characteristics that I simply am not comfortable with.
Also, since reading your blog, I wanted to share that I think there are definite concerns specific to the gender of the child you are raising. I find myself already--at 6 mo. old--making decisions about how she is presented as a female.
For example, it is hard to find baby swimsuits that are one piece! I simply refuse to have my daughter wearing a bikini at this age. Granted, after trying the swimsuit on her, I understand why 2 pieces would be convenient...diaper changes, easier to put on, etc. But at this age of innocence there is no way I want her portraying a "sexy" image. Now, I am sure she will be running around in just her diaper a lot, etc., but that is different from dressing in clothing with adult connotations.
Also, I don't know if she will ever own a Barbie. My mom didn't get me one for several reasons, including the image Barbie portrays. I have a book about raising daughters from my dad that I need to read...if I find it of value I will share it with you!
Interesting topic...I love hearing the thoughts!
Rachel I agree with you wholeheartedly! I've started to think about some of these gender specific parenting issues this last week after finding out that Evelyn is a girl. It's amazing the challenges that we as Christian parents will face while attempting to raise our children up to glorify and enjoy God. I'm so glad that it is not in our own strength that we put our trust!
~ Rachel Borg
One thing that I would like to point out. Be thinking ahead in regards to the number of children Gods gives you and the years between the oldest and youngest. I know you can't know that but when discussing how you want to raise your children you need to consider if they will be all close in age or spread out. Rachel was almost 12 when Johnny was born. Then problem being when they are spread out the younger will be expose to what the older children get to do. It's very difficult to keep the younger ones from what the older ones are doing. For instance you may decide that your child may not watch Disney shows until they are old enough to tell fantasy from reality . When they reach that age they have two or three younger siblings who you do not what watching yet. You WILL run into this problem at some level over and over. It's tough. Our youngest has done things at a far younger age than the older ones and I'm not sure what I could have done differently without segregating the family. This is something to keep in mind as you decide the boundaries for your families. What is really doable to maintain in the long run? I don't mean to be discouraging be any means just want to point out things that maybe haven't been considered.
I'm sorry I (Rachel's Mom) wrote the above post.
Lisa (mom),
Thanks for the insights on the age differences, that clearly changes family dynamics and is a unique perspective.
I'm wondering, if I can ask, how do you "protect" the younger ones? I guess what I'm getting at is this. Paul in Romans 14 talks about not offending the younger in faith, or those who are more immature. Is there a way in which this principle applies to family? Should family "activities" be catered to the youngest (or most immature) in order to help encourage their faith? I don't know that this makes ANY sense, so forgive me in advance.
As I recall, Rachel used to love "The Little Mermaid." Children like the bright colors and music of these movies, there is often not much connection to the themes you talk about.
How do you feel about Sesame Street? Are you going to keep them from it because of the "intrinsically homosexual" relationship that Bert and Ernie have?
You could say that Beauty and the Beast teach tolerance and compassion-- things I thought would be A-okay in any Christian's book.
Hmmm...tolerance and compassion? I don't necessarily seeing those two things going together, and try as I might I just can't seem to find a biblical reference to the idea that Christians need to be tolerant; at least in the way tolerance is taught today (i.e. open mindedness).
Wow, never would have thought that Rachel would reject The Little Mermaid! I don't think you guys are making a bad decision in not letting Evie watch Disney movies, but I don;t think they have the great influence you give them. Our whole family grew up watching them and I don't think it has done us any harm. I didn't have to watch Ariel disobey her father to learn how to disobey mine. And I think it is over-analyzing the song to say that "I want more" is graspingly selfish. And it's what comes out of a person that makes them unclean, not what goes into them (slightly out of context).
I don't think that Evelyn will be too deprived growing up without disney. But at the same time I have some good memories of those shows. I don;t think little kids see the deeper meaning. I just remember singing all the songs with my sisters on car trips and having a lot of fun.
Basically I agree with your decision though (not that it matters)
Side note: Kyle, I don't think beauty and the beast is like homosexuality. Could it be seen maybe as a lesson in not judging people by their appearances? Man looks at the outward appearance but the LORD looks at the heart...
-Ruthie
I realize this is an old post, but I hope you ate least read it because I think you missed the mark by just a bit.
First, in the little mermaid, she is rejecting her possessions "I want more" means that she wants adventure and an exciting life, not more stuff. (http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/classicdisney/partofyourworld.htm) The Little Mermaid rejects materialism because she wishes to transcend her sheltered life as a pampered princess.
Also, the reason most Disney characters disobey their parents is because that's how kids relate. If you notice, in most movies where the children disobey, it ends in disaster. Disney movies open a dialog to help teach kids important lessons without forcing them to "learn it the hard way." Wouldn't you rather talk about not wandering off in the context of the lion king instead of the much more terrifying context of the real world?
In Beauty and the Beast, it teaches children that someones inner worth is worth searching for no matter how terrifying their outward appearance may be.
Lady and the Tramp teaches us not to judge people based on heir social status but rather on the merits of their character.
In Pinocchio we are taught to "Let your conscience be your guide" which simply means use discretion when making a decision that could jeopardize your morals (inevitably as parents you help shape your child's conscience).
I realize that all of your arguments have merit, and I hope you see the merit in my points as well. When watching Disney movies its important to see that your child draws the POSITIVE messages I outlined and not the negative messages you've also pointed out. To summarize what I personally took from Disney movies (via my parents)
1) Reject Materialism
2) Listen to your parents (especially when they say what NOT to do)
3) Don't judge someone based on their outward appearance
4) Don't judge someone based on how much wealth/social status they have attained.
5) Use your conscience (morals) as your guide, and question the status quo.
Inevitably, these are values every good Christian strives to display!
1. I want more displays a discontentedness with life and circumstance. Whether or not it's speaking about materialism, she is thinking more "things" (material or immaterial) will make her happy. I have a hard time believing discontentedness is a Christian virtue.
2. I'd rather talk about not "wandering off" in relation to the Prodigal Son. Disney cannot supply anything that Scripture cannot. Regardless of whether or not it ends in disaster, it still makes disobeying look "fun and adventerous."
3. "Inner worth?" So Beauty and the Beast is one big push for self-esteem. On those grounds alone I would reject the movie.
4. Our conscience should not be our guide. The Word of God should be. As fallen creatures, our will is fallen. As I'm willing to say that the conscience is an act of the will, our conscience is thus tainted by the fall. To encourage someone (who may be an unrepentant sinner) to follow their conscience is just stupid. I'd much rather have my children singing "Let the Bible be your guide."
There is some worth to what you wrote. And while I don't think Disney movies are inevitably "bad" (after all, movies don't have souls they can't be good/bad except in aesthetic value) and Christian liberty dictates their use, I think we need to be careful as parents in what we allow our children to watch. Are they getting their "Christian" values/morals from Disney, or Scripture? I really want to stress that I don't think they are intrinsically bad (and I'm glad your parents used them as a teaching guide). What scares me to death and the seemingly "brainless" parents who simply let their children watch them for viewing pleasure without discussing things with them. Left to themselves, Disney can (and I think does) teach bad values. But that's me.
Thanks for stopping by.
Much Grace.
girlie, you need to get your priorities straight! I have watched Disney movies my entire life and I NEVER saw anything that severe in any of them. As a child you dont read into things like that, young minds do not work that way. I am an Early Childhood Education major and have learned alot about child psychology and development. Yes, you should control what you young ones watch but for Christ's sake dont go overboard. PBS and Disney are the perfect things for young ones to watch. Even when they may have trouble discerning reality and fantasy, children do not read into movies that way. Disney movies were made for all ages, the jokes that we may think would be inappropriate for kids are made for the parents. Kids dont get those jokes but it gives relief to the parents who have to sit through them day in and day out. If you want a happy child then you will give her the opportunity to decide what movies she would like to see, to an extent of course. Let her be exposed to the world, not confined to a shoe box.
Heather,
HA! For the record, Rachel didn't type this, her husband, Kyle (me) did. Thanks for the response.
I hope you already notice the presuppositions you are entering this discussion with.
I'm not too concerned with what pop-psychology says about the development of children, much of that is, in my estimation, quite useless. You assume children don't read into movies and aren't that affected by them, that's a presupposition I reject. The sheer influence that the mass media world has on children is immense. Are you aware that the average person spends seventeen times as much time in one year watching television/movies than they do reading? When something like that dominates people's time and energies I think it is a cataclysmic mistake to assume it doesn't affect children that much or shape one's worldview.
You also presuppose that happiness is found in movies, after all you did say if we want a happy child we should let them pick what movie they want. Well, if that's the measure of my child's happiness the last thing they need is to watch a movie, they need to be taught to discern between the significant and insignificant of life, something the media world cannot capture. After all, movies/television can only capture that which is kenetic, but the significant things in life are not kenetic (love, happiness, fear, joy, worship, prayer, etc). Any attempt the mass media world makes at achieving that end is just a caricature. I'd rather teach my children to value significant choices than silly ones like, "What movie do you want to watch."
You also presuppose that one is confined to a shoe box just because one limits the watching of movies. I hardly see this as the case. Movies can't teach us much about real life, in fact, I fail to see many movies (documentaries aside) which give an accurate portrayal of true life.
Your final statement is nice, but caked in some strong rhetoric. As if I'm just supposed to accept the fact that exposure to the world is better than fencing my child's experiences. I don't see exposure to the world as a necessary prerequisite to raising a child. After all, Rachel and I hope to teach and show Evelyn the inherent depravity of her own heart. As she grows and plumbs those depths, I think she will have a grasp on "real life" far deeper than her superficial, non introspective, friends.
Perhaps it would be immensely helpful to note our moral principles differ a great deal. This of course can hinder a good conversation, since we don't share the basic presuppositions about morality, authority, and truth. If, as I affirm, the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever, I see little reason why Disney helps a person achieve that end. Now, I'm not asking you to affirm my presuppositions, I wish you would, but I don't expect it. But given my presuppositions Disney, and really almost any movie, does not help advance by child's development, as much as retards it. So it's not a matter of having priorities messed up. Perhaps according to your presuppositions our priorities are messed up, but we don't share those presuppositions. Does that make sense?
Thanks for stopping by!
You are overthinking everything!!! Seriously... I doubt Disney would promote bad things like that!! Just RELAX!!
Yes I am a parent of five children and I don't know about yours but my children don't know what homosexuality means or the actual meanings of the songs. They just like to watch the movie and sing along and they don't analyze everything that goes on during the film.There's nothing wrong with disney movies YOU are overacting. YOU are depriving your kidsfrom a normal childhood!!! God bless you!!!
Interesting, but ultimately un-convincing. Simply saying "I doubt..." isn't really a way to persuade someone.
Underlying everything is a set of values, or what we might call a worldview. A worldview, as I'm sure you know, is really our theory of reality. Our theory of reality determines what we value and consider to be the chief good(s) in this world, it includes reasons for living etc. Included in our theory of reality are those vices and virtues which we esteem or deplore, or rather, includes is a set of morals. Every worldview has moral values, and every expression of a worldview (be it a movie, television show, conversation, etc) conveys in some degree the moral values of the specific worldview.
I find it an incontestable fact that Disney and I do not share the same worldview, which must necessarily entail that Disney and I do not share the same set of morals. But even more than this, Disney and I see reality in completely different ways, we esteem and value completely different things, and we see the teleos of the human life differently.
Now, explain to me why I would want my child (who is undiscerning and in the process of forming her worldview/values/morals, etc) to be exposed to a worldview that is so antithetical to the worldview Rachel and I confess and hold to? Why would I ever want Disney to be an influence in my child's development if I believe that Disney embraces a worldview so juxtaposed to my own?
You see, the problem isn't that this is "over thought." The problem is, people in today's society are entertainment retards (look the latter word up in a dictionary if you think I'm not being P.C). They mindlessly accept the subtle worldview of the media world without every raising the question "Gee, is this actually profitable?" Parents are blindly exposing their children to all sorts of bad things, including the majority of the "entertainment" world. And it just so happens that what the entertainment world values is not what I value or esteem as virtuous. I'm a parent who takes seriously the development of my child, and no one should regard that as a negative thing, whether you disagree with me or not. Parents don't just set their children lose to the wind, that's not the role of parenthood. So I still fail to see any "good" reason to let my children watch Disney movies (and other movies at that).
If my daughter knew what homosexuality was, I'd be surprised. Heck, I'd be surprised if my daughter knew what the color green was, she's only nine months old.
I'm depriving my child of a normal childhood. HA! Nice rhetorical jab. Really, that was good. Define "normal" for me. I mean, 100 years ago was every child deprived of this "normal" childhood? Really, did you think that statement through before you made it? I'm not trying to be smart, but really since when has Disney become normative?
If you could answer this honestly it would me know where you are coming from. Do you consider yourself a Christian? If yes, how does watching a Disney movie glorify God, and encourage your children to set their minds on things above (Phl 4:8)? If no, then I hope you can see we have a completely different view of reality. Why does mine offend you so much, and why should I be convinced of your worldview?
Yes I am a Christian and I go to church everyday when they offer it. I have my own chapel in my house. I just don't think that my children would watch a movie and automatically think homosexuality. I think my kids can be anyone they want to be if they want to be a homosexual then I will support them even if my Christian views are against it.Since they are my children then I will support them no matter what. And I hope that you would do the same!! Have a great blessed day!! :)
You didn't answer the second part of my question. As a Christian do you believe the Bible give us directions for holy living? Isn't Philippians 4:8 once such command? If so, how does Disney promote thinking of those things which are pure, noble, right, good, and praiseworthy? How do you instruct children how they can watch a movie to the glory of God, when so much of what is in those movies is unbiblical? I just don't see it.
Hey, I was doing some research on why Disney movies are bad because today in school we had a discussion, yes I am a teenager. When I was little my parents did not allow me to watch the Disney films, and from that I have found that I am able to see a little bit further beyond what is presented in social situations. On the other hand I have also found that being the only girl in my year unable to comment on which original fairy tale Disney based his stories on to be slightly embarrassing. You might be surprised how often people comment on the Disney films they grew up with. As a teenager I would say most girls would be better off without such films. And anyways the movies are marketed to four year olds, but really no one understands half the movie until they are nine years. Give your kid a healthy dose of good books like Forest Child, All Afloat on Noah's Boat, Peter and the Wolf, and my personal childhood favorite The Story of Moses; A Bible Pop-up published by Landoll's. Good luck with raising you little girl.
It's a Disney movie, it doesn't matter if she would be watching it. They're all just video/audio fairy tales. I say she just might be attracted to the songs like most people are. It depends on what time period you are talking about.
You know, people always make comments when anything is predicted to come to pass in 2012, like “obviously that is if the age is subdue here.” You do realize that the Mayans prognosticate the creation will finish on Dec. 21 (or 23rd)? So in all distinct possibility if anything is going to encounter in 2012 there is only the slimmest possibility that the world hand down have ended already it happens.
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